i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
