Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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