As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
