Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I enjoy the company of your penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize