I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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