i was born a porn star she said
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
