i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
