if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
