wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
