When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
