I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Alive.
So much puke
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
