I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She bit a glass in half.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
