You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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