I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
