eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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