Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
