I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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