I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
