the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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