i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
