Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
even my farts smell like vagina
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize