just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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