hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize