It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
