i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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