just survived the first fart of the relationship.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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