yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
