Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
