Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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