gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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