Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
