I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
