Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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