I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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