Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
