I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
