Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
