If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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