he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
