I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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