Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
