STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
