You're so nebulous sometimes
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
