What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
