cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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