I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
