Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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