Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
please come you make the beer taste better
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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