I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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