they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You dont lie about slip and slides
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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