So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize