Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
