TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
