Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
