we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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