i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
