there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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