I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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