yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
