he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
