better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
