Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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