Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
