his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
